How to run a small group (or...why I nearly quit children’s ministry)
Ten boys aged eight nearly made me quit children's ministry. Seriously. I know you've all been there, you're given a sheet with a Bible passage to read, three discussion questions and a colouring in sheet and for twenty minutes you need to keep that rowdy bunch in your small group from injuring one another and hopefully teach them something about God along the way.
"I can't do it, they JUST WON'T LISTEN", I was thirteen years old and my role in my children's ministry team was to teach the seemingly unteachable small group of boys at the 9am Sunday morning service. In my imagination, it was like that movie Dangerous Minds (which was hugely popular at the time), where everyone had given up on the students then one teacher dared to take them on. There I was, Michelle Pfeiffer, ready to accept the challenge, gangsters paradise and all. (Well ok, it wasn't that extreme, we were in the Bible Belt of middle class Melbourne Australia, but like I said, that movie was very popular at the time. Google it.) and after one lesson I was ready to quit. Our pastor asked me to just keep teaching the small group at least until they found someone else to take it on. I had no choice but to work out a way to make it great, and each week I grew more and more determined to capture their attention and make the lesson fruitful for those boys. I worked hard at getting to know them, I prayed for them.. a lot, and I got creative.
Define the Win
Getting through the curriculum material should be not the goal of any children's ministry. The goal is for children's lives to be changed. If that means you throw half the lesson out the window then step aside and let me unlatch that window for you. For my group of boys all those years ago, the curriculum was simply not working for them. There was no way reading, discussion and colour-in were going to get us anywhere. They needed action, they needed games, they needed FUN. So I re-defined the win for them. A win was not to complete everything on the page, a win was a service where they went home knowing the point of the days lesson and what it meant for their lives and didn't injure one another along the way. To get to that point, they needed a different journey to the other, more docile, small groups.
You're the expert
No one knows the children in your ministry better than you! YOU are the expert. Curriculum writers and developers don't know your kids the way you do. So it's up to you to take the material and tailor it to your children. Just like "one size fits all" clothing never fits "all" and mostly doesn't look good on anyone, Children's ministry curriculum isn't going to work if we assume that it is "one size fits all" it isn't designed to be and never can be! Children all over the city, state, country and world are not the same. Different ages, cultures, interests and personalities make up the beautiful landscape of planet earth and it's the leaders that love them and know them that will guide them and teach them in a way that is relevant to them.
Connection
Once I got to know the children in my small group I learned what sort of things got their attention, I became the resident expert on 8year olds. Some liked sports, others liked computer games and others liked cartoons. I had to find a way to connect with them or they would never listen to me. So I did my research. I found out about the sporting teams they liked, watched the cartoons, played the computer games and worked out ways to use what they were interested in as examples in my teaching. Instead of expecting them to sit and listen to one child very s l o w l y read through a passage of scripture, I read it to them, giving them buzz words and questions with prizes along the way. I made up games that would get them moving and interacting with one another and even sometimes those games related to the lesson! Brilliant! Watch out Michelle Pfeiffer!
Part of my role at my local church, Hillsong Church in Sydney, Australia is to respond to email enquires from children's ministry leaders. One question we are asked most is how to run small groups and what we do during small group time. So here's our answer, (to save you writing one of those ever so polite and sweet emails and filling up my inbox) hope it can help you to make small group time a win for your children's ministry.
Hillsong Kids spend between 20-35 minutes in small group time, which we call Kids Discipleship Groups (KDG's) We provide our team with their materials and say "hey.. choose what will work with your group." If you start out with a plan to get through everything provided but you find you have some really great discussion happening then keep going with it. If you find that playing the game first works better for your kids.. go for it, or if you end up making paper aeroplanes out of your activity sheets then let 'em fly! Even though deep down it breaks my heart to see my beautifully illustrated activity sheets flying through air∑ if the kids are connecting, loving church and learning then i'm ok with that.
KDG's are designed to help children understand how the lesson applies to them. They will discuss real-life experiences, interact with a group of friends, and participate in a variety of activities that appeal to different learning styles. Life application, connect time, BIG questions, activity sheets, BIG WORD, games and prayer activities are always a part of this hands-on time.
We would suggest each group consists of no more than 10 children, and if possible to have age and gender specific groups. For example you could have a Year 2 KDG of 10 children, and then a Year 3 KDG of 10 children.
You will need one KDG Leader for each small group. Ideally, assign the same KDG Leader to the same group of children for the entire year. Our church has multiple services so our teams serve at the same service each week and attend church at one of the other service times.
CONNECT TIME
This is a short activity to do at the start of the small group time that provides an opportunity for the children to connect with one another and get talking! Length: approximately 5 minutes.
THE BIG QUESTION
This is a discussion time with the KDG. The KDG leader will ask the children the BIG QUESTIONS and discuss the answers together. This is a valuable time for the leader to gauge what the children have learnt during the large group time and help them understand the lesson and apply it to their lives. Length: approximately 8 minutes.
ACTIVITY SHEETS
Activity sheets include life application learning activities through creative expression, Bible discovery and revision. It's important to keep these fresh and interesting for the children whilst ensuring they are age appropriate. A crossword might be fun for one lesson but if you have a crossword every week it will get boring.. fast!
We encourage the children to take their Activity Sheets home with them. There is a Parents section that provides parents with an opportunity to interact with their children about what they learnt in the program that day. It is a great way for parents to do follow up activities if they choose, such as read relevant Bible passages and discuss questions that their children may have. It also can get the parents thinking how they can bring topics into context with the children’s everyday real-life situations.
Length: approximately 10 minutes.
THE BIG ACTIVITY
The BIG Activity is an optional small group activity. The children can have fun and interact with each other whilst the lesson is illustrated in a practical way. This activity could be a craft, group game, action learning activity or competition. This is great to include if you have a longer service time, or want to extend your small group time.
Length: approximately 10 minutes.
THE BIG WORD (Bible memory verse)
The BIG Word activity helps small group leaders to reinforce the Bible verse. This activity could be a puzzle, game, song or challenge for the small group to complete together. Length: approximately 5 minutes.
GAME TIME
Game time is when the children have fun and interact with each other whilst reinforcing the BIG IDEA. Length: approximately 7 minutes.
PRAYER
We love to see kids grow in their prayer life. Each small group prays together, children may lead the prayers or the leader may use this time to pray with the children about what they have been learning and discussing that day. Length: approximately 5 minutes.
The key to successful small group time is the the small group leader. If the leader is prepared, prayed up and practiced then the small group is sure to be an effective time of ministry. It is my greatest joy to know that the children of our church love their small group leaders. A small group leader in our children's ministry is the most important position on the team. We want children to be connected and that although they are a part of a large church, for them it's really just a small church with lots of people.
So if your small group of children has ever made you want to quit, don't give up! You will get the hang of it, I know it, and you can get better and better at it. You can do it! I know you can! Thumbs up for rock and roll! (You Tube reference.. search "Thumbs up for Rock and Roll".. Best video EVER!)
Kathryn MacDowall is the curriculum writer for Hillsong Kids at Hillsong Church in Sydney Australia.
Check out Hillsong Kids BIG Children's Ministry Curriculum at hillsongkidsbig.com
Follow us on twitter: @hillsongkids and Facebook: facebook.com/hillsongkids
Originally Published in K! Kidzmatter Magazine.
